Co-Parenting across the nation occurs when a divorced couple, with children, live in separate states (or sometimes countries). While co-parenting across the nation can (and will) present its challenges, it can be done successfully. In this blog post, we will dive into the challenges that may arise, and discuss strategies for success. Remember, at the end of the day the most important thing to remember is your child and their emotional well being.
Maintaining any kind of long-distance relationship is not for the faint of heart. There will be hurdles to jump, and challenges to face. While you may not be able to prepare for every situation, let’s identify the biggest challenges in co-parenting:
Parenting Conflicts
Every parent has their own way of parenting their children. When parents live in different states, it can amplify the potential for conflict since you are not physically in the same place. Each parent must learn to trust their ex-spouse in their chosen parenting style when they are not around each other.
Effects on the child
Being physically distant from your children can create a wall in strengthening the bond between parent and child. This extra effort in creating close relationships with a distant parent is a challenge in itself for both the parent and the child.
Communication
The potential for miscommunication is higher when living in separate states. There is also the challenge of learning new ways to communicate between adults and children.
Traveling
Traveling can be a lot for anyone. There are extra steps to follow when children are traveling, and certain logistics you need to identify anytime a trip is planned. Questions to answer include “Who is responsible for child transportation?”, “ Who will pay for travel expenses?”, and “When will the visit occur?”.
Now that we have identified some of the biggest challenges with co-parenting nationally, let’s talk about strategies to utilize for success!
Identify the Priorities
Making a list of your priorities will help in the decision making process for any challenge. Your top priority must be the well being of your children. If something doesn’t follow their well-being, discuss alternatives that accommodate you (and your child’s) priorities.
Create a Parenting Plan
A parenting plan is a legal document that outlines parenting topics including (but not limited to) visitations, holidays, travel logistics, and conflict-solution processes.
Be Proactive, and flexible
If you see a potential conflict arise, be proactive and communicate with your ex before the challenge escalates. Prepare yourself with the prospect of a situation not working the way you intended by utilizing flexibility. Working together with your ex can provide smoother outcomes for both parties involved.
Utilize your resources
Building relationships and staying in touch may create its challenges. The good news is, there are plenty of resources available to stay connected. From social media, to video conferencing tools (like FaceTime/Zoom/Google Teams), you can stay connected more than ever before. Be open to learning new resources or utilizing ones that are already available to you. If you don’t know how to use something, ask friends, family or even your children. The key is to stay connected!
Include the child(ren)
Don’t forget to include the children in some of the decision making opportunities. Not every decision needs to be made with the children’s input, but in some cases, asking them about their needs or preferences can be important.
Seek professional assistance
Sometimes certain situations arise that you need help navigating. In those situations we recommend finding professional assistance with a family therapist or mediator. If you’re seeking legal assistance, we at The Law Offices of Gina Smalley are always available.
When co-parenting across the nation, remember, your child(ren) are your top priority. It will not be easy, but allowing your children the opportunity to stay close with their parents is worth the extra effort and challenges.
If you’re facing divorce reach out to The Law Office of Gina Smalley today. We’re here to help you every step of the way.
